my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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