So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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