Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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