the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize