So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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