Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
