....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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