Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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