Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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