Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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