The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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