If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize