Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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