My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
