Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
