it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
