she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
