Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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