No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
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No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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