so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
