That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
