Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
