yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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