Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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