The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
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Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
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I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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