Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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