Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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