Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
no, he came in my armpit
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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