TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
