WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
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My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
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He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.