Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize