some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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