I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He keeps bees of course he's weird
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
