Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
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at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
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How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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