Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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