Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize