Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
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I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
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He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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