the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
