thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
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Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
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Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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