would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
