I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
