why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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