Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
