Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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