If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize