i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
