every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Small penises have feelings too.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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