I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i will never coherently bang her
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
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She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
it's like heaven, but drunker
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
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Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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