Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
