You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
