I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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