ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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