My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize