I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize