I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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