It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
