you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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