Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
