Midget sex pt 2 tonight
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
