Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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