he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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