Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
